Hurt of a thousand suns
by Panic.its.sammiie
Summary: I guess you could call this my Breaking Dawn. Completely different. Bella has agreed to Marry Edward, when jacob finds out she wants to set things right. Will Jacob and Edward completely get over there prejudices. Please R


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**I do not ownn Twilight, though it would be nice** =)  
Please revieww!  
=) ill give you choccy chip cookies! XD  
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**Bella POV**

"Why can't you be there" I whispered.

Jacob turned his head from me. "Bella you know how I feel, I can't be there, I don't think I can" he replied huskily.

"Can you please look at me Jacob? Please" I grabbed for his hand, but he pulled it away, quickly he turned to stand, pacing the woods in front of me.

"Jacob, please" tears were starting to well up as I sat on a moss covered rock. He shook his head and retreated into the dark forest. I could see his body quiver

"Jacob, Jacob!" I screamed after him, I heard him howl in anguish. The same way he howled when we were on the mountain, camping, waiting for the new borns to attack. He felt the same, I knew he did. Mindlessly I stumbled through the woods, screaming for Jacob. I ran and ran, until I saw clearing up ahead. I slowed down, this all looked so familiar. I walked out into the light to find myself back where I had started.

I sat on the outskirts of the forest crying; only a matter of time before Alice saw me. Jacob was my best friend; he was there when I needed someone. Edward sent the invitation for my wedding, to Jacob. I promised that I would stay out of his life, but I couldn't. I loved Jacob more than I thought, but still not enough to leave Edward. I hadn't seen Jacob for a month until now, last time I heard he had chosen to stay in wolf form, then out of no where I saw Jacob wondering the streets of La push, while I was taking Charlie to Billy's so he could watch the game. I called Sam to see if Jacob had returned. All he said was "Im sure that he needs to talk to you as much as you to him". I walked down to the beach hoping to find Jacob, when he didn't show; I walked aimlessly around the bay, ending up right here, with Jacob.

."But he left you once before, sweet Bella, its not because he does not want to come, it's because-"

"I don't want to know" I replied icily to Alice. She simply nodded as she bundled me into her arms.

"Alice what do you see in my future?" I asked slowly.

"Bella I only see what you already chose, of course I see you with Edward, that's your path you have chosen to take and for know that's all I will know" she grinned at me.

We drove back to the house in silence.

"Where is Edward?"

We were all sitting in the dinning room; Emmet sat next to Rosalie who looked quite sour.

"He will be here in three minutes and a half" Alice voice came from the doorway.

"Bella, are you alright honey" Esme said rubbing my arm soothingly.

I turned away to hide the shame. I promised myself that I would not shed another tear for Jacob Black; it would hurt Edward to know that I am sad about something that has been taken from my life by my own decision. I rearranged my face and put on a smile. "Yes I am fine thanks "

She gave me a withering look.

"Alice" Edwards deadly voice boomed through the front door.

Alice grimaced at me and reluctantly walked to him. "Why did you let that mutt do that to her, why did you even let her out of your sight?" He thundered at her.

"Edward-"

"I can explain" I placed my hand on his wrist. He seemed to calm under my touch. He turned his glare on me.

"I knew that you sent him the invitation for the wedding, I tried to find away for him to come, but he wouldn't, he said that he couldn't-" I cut off gulping down my tears.

"Bella, I didn't know whether or not you wanted me to send him one, so I did. I really didn't want to hurt you in any way" He looked ashamed of himself.

"Edward, Bella neither of yous caused any harm, im sure" Esme replied soothingly.

"But I shouldn't have sent it in the first place; I knew what it would cause"

"Edward, please. I wanted him to come; I shouldn't have gone down to La Push"

"Ok I have had enough, break it up" Jasper said lightly chuckling.

I smiled up at Edward; he laughed and encircled me in his arms.

"Shall we continue" Carlisle asked Edward.

"Yes, but what is this meeting for anyway"

"For the music, of course" I replied eyeing the mountains of cd's.

Alice laughed, her wind chime effect making the sound even lovelier.

"What about this one" Jasper picked up Seal's album and turned it lightly in his hand.

"I honestly don't think so" Edward replied looking agitated.

"ohh, what about Celine Dion?" Esme passed me the case.

"We need something different" I glanced around at the Cd's. This was going to be a nightmare.

"Something unique?" Esme asked.

"Hm yes, something original" Alice replied for me.

"What about.." Esme trailed of looking towards Edward.

"I don't think so" he looked astounded by what she was thinking.

"Edward, you have talent for the piano, you were made for something like this" Esme placed a cool hand on my shoulder.

"Okay, I think I know what we are talking about. I think it would be great" I looked into Edwards eyes.

His Expression wavered and softened.

"But im the one getting married. How can I be in two places at once" he added with a smug smile.

I glared at him.

"What"

"You know what, record it" Alice answered darkly.

His face crumpled, I smiled triumphantly. Trust Alice to help.

I sat in the middle of the brass bed that sat in Edwards's room. I sighed and laid back into his lap. Looking up at him he laughed.

"What?"

"Nothing, just something that Alice is thinking" He chuckled once again.

"What is she thinking?" I asked suspicious

"She will tell you in the morning. For now my darling, you need sleep" He kissed my nose gently and placed his body against mine, enclosing me in his icy arms. I groaned.

"What's wrong Bella" His voice concerned.

"Im not tired" But then I yawned. He laughed "is that so" his arm shifted to my waist, turning me gently so that I faced him. Placing a finger under my chin he kissed my lips softly at first. I threw myself into his kiss. His hand gliding over my hip, sparking a flame. I could feel the heat creeping up slowly. His lips melted beneath mine. I opened my eyes, to see him lying a few centimetres further than before.

"Oh im sorry, I forgot" My face slipped into a pout.

"Oh no, it wasn't that my sweet" he brushed a cool finger along my jaw line.

"Now, time for the human to sleep. You have one busy schedule tomorrow and believe me you will need the rest while you can get it" He chuckled again.

The soft hum of melody filled my ears. I felt at complete ease. I started to nod off, the intoxicating pull of slumber spreading its gentle tentacles on me.

The morning leaked into the room, grey and dull, no real surprise.

"Good morning my dear" Edwards voice came from behind me. I smiled, putting my hand in his and sitting up.

"How did you sleep" his voice concerned.

"Fine. Why is that?"

"You still look really exhausted" he traced the bag under my eye.

"Well there is only 8 days until our wedding, any more stress would kill me" I grinned up at him.

He ruffled my hair, sighed and tugged me along into his kitchen filled with food for me.

Since I had told my father, Charlie, that I was getting married to Edward  
(who happens to be a vampire, though a vegetarian, meaning eats only animals), he has a strict policy that I can stay one night a week at the Cullen's. Edward wasn't allowed to stay at my house. I even have a curfew. He didn't take it that entirely well. First he snarled at me and stomped into his room. I walked into mine, when he walked back in and yelled at me.

"Bella your not even 19 yet, you are far too young, do you want to end up like your mother and me. Heck Bella how could you be so thoughtless"

Once again he stormed out of my room and out into the living room. I could still hear him muttering to himself; finally he got up and walked out of the house into his car. Twenty minutes or so the phone rang. It was Dad.

"Bella im sorry, you might not end up the same way as Renee and I. Please forgive me" he pleaded.

"Of course"

"But there will be rules"

What Charlie doesn't know won't hurt him, Edward sneaks in through my bedroom window, after he is asleep.

Edward sat me in a chair and went about making me breakfast.

"Bella, Billy just sent back his RSVP" Alice walked in cautiously.

"What?" I dropped my spoon that I was holding.

"He rang just a few minutes ago, he said that he cannot wait for the wedding" Alice smiled, lightly rubbing my back.

Edward bent down and kissed my fore head.

"Breathe Bella" he chuckled.

"Is he coming?" I asked quietly, hoping no one would hear me.

"Well I would guess so, the invitation was sent for both" Edward said, pouring milk into my peanut butter captain crunch.

I groaned.

"Bella lighten up, we still have to go shopping for the dresses for both you and the brides maids, lord knows how hard this will be" Alice said hoping up and down cheerfully.

"Eat" Edward commanded.

"aww I really like this for the brides maids" Alice pointed to a sleek cyan couture dress. It was a daring deep v neck plunge with tapered silk in the middle. The dress came to the knees and was back less.

"Alice it is a wedding" I reminded her.

"I know that" she playfully punched me in the arm.

"Alice this is hopeless. We won't find anything"

"Ohh we will, hold on a second" she pulled out the silver phone and keyed in a number. As fast as it had happened, it was over.

"Bella, I think we may have found the right dresses"

Twenty minutes later we were seated in the Cullen's lounge room, swamped with many exquisite and expensive dresses.

"What about this one darling"

I looked up, what I saw amazed me. The dress was cream for the base, with eccentric black silk woven into the design. The dress was strapless and had a corset look to it. However it didn't look trashy. The black silk was woven between the folds of the fabric, so that every now and then you would catch the black, not too much yet very beautiful. The train was long, but not long enough for me to fall in.

"Its so beautiful"

"So do you think this is the one" Edward asked wrapping an arm around my waist, cuddling me.

"But the brides maids" I was still breathless.

"no problem, Alice if you would please" he turned to Alice, who nodded and ran up the stairs at inhuman speed.

She came back wearing a dress similar to mine, except the dresses were just under the knee length and had black straps.

"So, what do you think" she smiled and twirls in the gorgeous dress.

"It's stunning"

I was speechless. Edward chuckled and kissed me lightly on the lips.

"Is this the one?" Alice simmered quickly to me

I nodded fervently.

"Rose" Alice called up the stairs.

"Yes, Alice" Rosalie appeared at the top of the stairs.

"we have finally found the dress""

" I knew that she would like it" rose said dancing on the spot.

"So can I ask how much it is?" I glared at Edward.

"nothing, it's a piece designed by Rosalie herself" he grinned sheepishly at me.

"What" devastated I sat on the couch and looked up at Rosalie.

"I never knew that you could design such exquisite dresses"

Rosalie shrugged, "Just something I do in my spare time, as you know, us vampires have too much of that" she winked at me.

"Oh rose, it is beautiful, thank you so much" tears began to well up at the brims of my eyes.

Edward wrapped me in his arm, kissing the top of my head. Alice laughed softly to Rose.

"Well that's one less thing on our list of to do" Edward wiped away my tears with a cold finger.

"Leaving around 400 things on it though" I laughed.

"But better 400 than 401" Alice reminded me.

Mum came running to the door, as I entered Charlie's. The tears in her eyes, was only a warning to what came next.

"Oh honey, I am so sorry" she soothed me.

"Mum, what are you talking about."

She looked shocked with my reaction.

"I thought" she chocked of.

"Mum what's happened" I grabbed her shoulders

"Jacob has run away, but when Billy tried to reason with him, Jacob didn't want to hear it, Billy tried to follow, but he fell down the stairs. He is in a coma. They don't know whether or not he is going to awake" her Brown eyes filled with more tears, im pretty sure that I mirrored her.

"oh no" I gasped. My head filling with images.

Jacob wouldn't run of and leave his father lying on the ground. Would he?

I slumped to the floor, chest heaving, pushing me to breathe.

I could feel Mum next to me, speechless and not knowing what to do.

My eyes to puffy and red to cry, I felt my body shut down. I could deal with this. I have been through worse. But I couldn't talk sense to myself.

Billy could be dead, Jacob ran away, how much more stress did I need.

I lay there for what seemed like hours, the faint light from the window, proved my thought.

"Bells" dad's voice sounded so far away.

"Yeah" my throat rasped.

"Edward just called, he said that he is on his way" dad shifted his feet uneasily.

I started to stir, craving to get back to life. But the pain wasn't over yet. I saw the admission sheet for Billy lying on the sofa. That surged a fresh new wave of fear through me.

"Life support" I gasped in horror at the words.

Charlie looked horrified as he saw the sheet there.

"Bella, honey, we have to do what we can, please" I could see the pain in his eyes.

"I know that" I said thickly.

"I just didn't think that he would need to be on life support, I didn't th-" I cut myself off, I couldn't finish. Charlie sunk to his knees and huddled me close to him. Tears slipped thickly down my cheeks. Charlies sobs were heart breaking, I felt like I was meant to be doing something more than sitting on the floor weeping. A soft knock on the door sounded, Charlie huffed and wiped his face with his clammy hands. I took a deep breathe and walked to the kitchen, attempting to clean my face.

Edward Took me in his arms, crushing me against his icy body. Tears threatened to take over. I froze suddenly, remembering lyrics hummed by someone. Jacob.

"Its not too late, its never too late."

"Edward?"

"What is it darling" his voice sounded pained.

"Will you drive me somewhere" I asked, not daring to look in his eyes.

"Where ever you want" he said solemnly.

"The boundary of La Push" I whispered.

"I cant go any further than the boundary though" he reminded me.

"Hang on" I took the phone from the cradle and dialled in a number.

"Hello" a voice answered, Emily's.

"Hey Emily, is Sam there?" I tried to sound cheery.

"Sure, ill just get him for you. How are you?" her voice was strained.

"Im…okay" I reluctantly admitted.

"He will come back" she said defiantly.

"Here is Sam" she added "Bye Bella"

"Bella, hello. Whats up? Sam spoke gravely.

"Can you pick me up at the boundary, please" I pleaded quietly.

"Of course, ill see you soon" he signed off and hung up.

The car trip was silent, I sat cradled in Edwards arms as he drove.

"Bella, are you sure about this" Edward stopped the car.

"Yes" I murmured.

He handed me his little silver cell.

"Call me when you are ready to be picked up" he whispered gently in my ear.

"I love you Bella"

"I love you too" I added hopping out of the car.

Sam Uley was perched on the hood of his Carola.

"Thanks for this" I looked at my feet.

"Bella, its okay. I found Jacob, he feels horrible about this whole thing."

I stopped thinking by this point, Jacob was back and safe, but Billy wasn't. I wanted to kill him for what he kept doing, to the pack, to Billy and to poor Emily.

"Sam?"

"Mm" Sam replied distractedly.

"Do you think that Billy will be alright"

"Sure, he has a strong will power. Heck he is in a wheel chair" He chuckled unevenly.

"Yeah" although I wasn't to sure about it.

A little blue cottage with a flower box filled with an array of colours, came to view.

Emily was perched on the stairs. She waved cheerfully towards the car.

I felt the lift in the air, I felt more at home seeing Emily's vibrant smile. Even under the scars you could see the happiness.

"Dear Bella" Emily's voice called across the short distance.

Her cream sun dress danced around her knees as she walked toward us.

Her arms encircled my body and her lips pressed against my cheek.

"hi Emily" I grinned at her , she just had such a personality that you couldn't help but smile. When she let me go, she none but flew into the arms of her wolf. He kissed her softly on the lips and stared into her brown eyes. A smile flitted across sams face, each second in having his Emily in his arms the smile stretched further. He chuckled and picked her up.

"Sam!" she laughed.

"come on in Bella" Emily called to me.

I followed after them, not sure what I was really doing here. As I reached the stairs I heard a growl.

"What is she doing here" Paul's voice shock the house.

"She needs to talk to Jacob, if they are ever going to get over it, they will have to talk" Sam's authoritive voice cut across the rising snarl. The door opened and Jacob walked out into the sun. His features were drawn.

"You shouldn't be here" his voice was low.

"I have to talk to you"

"Yeah well all the talking is done in my eyes. Bella. You chose the leech over me. That's more than enough said. Lets just get on with our lives" He walked around me and towards the road.

"Jacob Black, will you stop and let me talk. Please stop walking and listen to what I have to say" I ran towards him, but my clumsy feet tripped on a raised level of dirt tripping forward. Before the dirt could consume my face I felt two scorching hands grab my waist, pulling me up from the hazard.

"I'm listening" a bitter mask tortured his used to be warm features.

"Look I know what has happened must be hard on you, but we need to sort out our differences."

"The differences are that you are with a leech, an immortal,_ my_ enemy." He cut across in a snarl, his body was quivering at this stage.

"Do you honestly think that we are going to be able to figure things out if your going to change into a freaking wolf" I said calmly.

"What would that matter to you anyway" he shot back.

"Because I still want us to be friends but you seem to keep making it harder than it really should be" My façade was calm and collected.

"How can we" he threw his hands up in frustration.

"Once again do you think that we can sort things out in this condition"

"Bella I love you, I have loved you even when you chose him over me. I will ALWAYS love you. Do you know how hard it is being friends with someone im in love with" his face was heating up.

The words hit me with such a force it caused me to step back. I hadn't meant to but I did and Jacob took it the wrong way.

"Yeah that's the thing. Your in love with him and me but would rather a person well technically speaking monster than be with me. Where things could and will be much easier" he turned his back on me still quivering.

"So where do we go from here Jacob" I said in a small voice.

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Yes i finished the chapter there!

Until next time loves xo


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